Most brand websites fail for one simple reason: they talk about themselves far more than they talk to their customers.
Somewhere along the way, “about us” energy started bleeding into every corner of the internet. Homepages that read like résumés. Product descriptions that sound like poetry. Category pages built like it’s for a library catalogue instead of actual people. The result? Copywriting that feels impressive to the team that wrote it, but irrelevant to the people who need to read it.
Your website isn’t your story. It’s your sales pitch. And if the person on the other end doesn’t see themselves reflected in what you’re saying, they’re gone in three seconds flat.
I’m gonna dissect this quick n’ dirty for you in this order:
- Homepage
- Category Page
- Product Page
The Homepage Problem
A homepage should answer three questions immediately:
- What do you offer?
- Why should your brand matter to?
- Why should I trust you?
Yet most homepages open with self-congratulation:
- #1 chiropractor in Los Angeles
- Fittest gym in America
- Award-winning contractor
Great, but no one actually cares.
Customers are selfish. They care about their own pain points, not your achievements. They want to know if you can fix their back, help them train smarter, or build something worth paying for. The irony? There’s a perfect place for those accolades. It’s the About Page. That’s where your credentials add context and trust. But on the homepage, it’s noise. Lead with clarity, not vanity.
The Category Page Chaos
Before copy even enters the conversation, let’s talk structure.
Too many sites try to be Amazon. They create endless categories for every possible product variation, ignoring what their data actually says about how users navigate the site. And that decision kills conversions.
Then comes the second mistake: refusing to use short copy on category pages because “other brands don’t do it.” The problem is that “other brands” often have national recognition, backlinks, and brand equity that prop up weak pages. You don’t.
Short copy gives users direction. It tells them:
- Where they are on the site
- What is on the page
- Why they should keep shopping.
It does not need to be long to be effective. It just needs to be useful. There’s a reason why category pages of smaller brands rank better when we add short copy… hint it’s because your brand doesn’t have all the signals of a nationally recognized brand.
The Product Page Trap
Product pages are often worse. You can feel the keyword stuffing and filler from a mile away. The brand is trying to sound premium, yet the result is paragraphs no one reads. People do not want paragraphs. They want proof.
They are skimming for the basics:
- What is it?
- Why should I care?
- Why should I buy it from you?
Shorter copy helps conversions and SEO. The clearer your page, the better it performs.
If your product description includes phrases like “embodying timeless craftsmanship” or “celebrating artisanal excellence,” you have already lost them. They just want to know if it works, if it lasts, and if it is worth the price.
The Pattern
If there is one universal truth about website copy, it is this: every page should answer the same three questions:
- What is it?
- Why does it matter?
- Why buy it from you?
Everything else is sh^t no one wants to read. So stop writing for yourself. Stop writing to suck up to the owners. Instead, write for the person deciding whether to trust you with their time and money.
If your website still reads like your acceptance speech, it is not a marketing tool. It is a vanity project. Luckily there’s time for you to uno-reverse that!
